Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
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