Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
