I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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