wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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