The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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