i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize