Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
This baby is an asshole
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
