if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
