We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
