You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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