Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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