I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
