Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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