Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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