Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
