My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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