Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
