I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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