ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
