she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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