just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
