Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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