Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
