i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
