I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize