Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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