Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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