I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
