UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
