And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
