I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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