is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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