She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Randomize
