false alarm. still invincible.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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