I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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