I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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