As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
