I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
