I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
