from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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