yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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