the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
