i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
