his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize