So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
