Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
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