He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize