I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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