used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
