Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
