I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You have to summon your inner elephant
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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