He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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