That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
