you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I love you. Go after that dick
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
