im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
