By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just had sex on a roof
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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