things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I've blown a few things in my day
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
