it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
