3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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