Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
