How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
