we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize