you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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